If you are in finance or management, the word “audit” might not be one of your favorites. In our context, though, auditing is about creating the space to decide what no longer serves you, what new practices could elevate your life, and which of your current habits deserve a deeper commitment.
Life is a collection of habits, routines, and decisions—and life moves fast. Amid the rush, we can easily fall into patterns and routines without even noticing. Some routines are intentional - like praying at 5 every morning or going for a run at 6:30 every other evening. So those are good. But when behaviors become mindless, it’s time to ask if those patterns align with who you want to be and how you want to be remembered.
Perhaps soon, I’ll share the story of how self-auditing positioned me for a more interesting life, and how I lost balance when I took time off auditing, and how auditing is again bringing my back to center. That experience taught me that a personal audit isn’t a judgment on who you are. Instead, it is a gift of clarity, an opportunity to realign your actions with your values.
So how should we go about self-auditing?
Well, I like to think of it as a three-part action sequence which I’ve called the SSC Formula - Stop-Start-Continue.
Part 1: Stop
About 10 years ago, one of my good friends shared on our whatsapp group that she didn’t like how loud and brash she sounded in conversation. She said that when she envisioned herself as a wife and mother, that brazen brashness didn’t fit into the picture. She told us she was going to make a conscious effort to stop it and asked us to hold her accountable. A few months after, her speaking tone started to change - it became softer, slower. A short while longer and the content of her conversations became different, more wholesome. Today, conversations with her are devoid of that gritting sharpness she disliked - she sounds markedly different and if I hadn’t known her for so long, I would not have imagined that she was the same person. How did she do it? 3 things:
She reflected on herself and identified a dissatisfying behaviour. Then,
She articulated why the behaviour was dissatisfying, and
She defined the new behaviour she wanted to replace it with.
So I invite you to take a moment to reflect on things in your life that have been weighing you down - behaviours, commitments, or even relationships. They might feel burdensome because they no longer serve who you have become or who you are becoming. Write them down. If you can, take it a step further and write down why they no longer serve you. I find that writing out the ‘why’ in full helps a lot with clarity. Then pick one thing on the list which you’ll stop. Just one. Finally, write down the alternative thing to replace what you want to stop - the new behaviour, the new activity that will replace that dissatisfying commitment time, or the new relationship dynamics you'd prefer.
Part 2: Start
One of my best friends is an international journalist. His work covers political news, culture, and conflict in West Africa. Many years ago, when he decided that he wanted to become a relevant voice in West Africa and cover the most significant stories coming out of the region, he recognized that his vision would be more achievable if he reduced his language barriers. Since almost 50% of West Africa is francophone, he decided that he would start speaking French. He took classes while in Nigeria and picked up a little French. Then he moved to Côte d'Ivoire, a predominately francophone country, and immersed himself in the culture and language. Today, he speaks English with a slight francophone accent, and sometimes when we get into long conversations, he absent-mindedly responds to me in French. How did he do it? 3 things:
He defined his career goal and trajectory. Then,
He identified one specific new skill he needed to achieve his goal, and
He started. He took small, then big steps to learn the skill.
My invitation is for you to look forward to what could be. To help gain clarity in at least one facet of your life, perhaps you can use the 5th guidepost question we explored in chapter 1 of this newsletter - how do you want to be remembered? Then identify a new practice, behaviour, mindset or skill that resonates and aligns with your answer to that question - whether it’s dedicating a few minutes each day to mindfulness, learning a new skill, or simply carving out more time for prayer and reflection. Then make a list of actionable steps you can take, big and small steps. Finally, pick one step, and start.
Part 3: Continue
In 2016, when I moved to America, my face, chest, and back were ridden with acne and black spots. To rid myself of them, I started paying a bit more attention to caring for my skin. I found a water-based moisturiser that I used consistently for a few months, and noticed the acne and spots slowly go away. It’s 2025, and my skin regimen has evolved, but I still start with that exact same moisturizer every morning. Today, one of the things I get complimented on often is the quality of my skin. How did I do it? 3 things:
I saw a problem that needed to be fixed. Then
I experimented until I found a solution that gave me results, and
I continued to use the solution I found.
For me it was a problem that needed to be solved. For you, it might be something that’s just a part of your personality and disposition. Whatever the origin story is, you probably have a number of things in your life that just work - they nurture your soul, support your intellect, ignite your senses, beautify your body. So I invite you to recognize these things that are working and keep pressing further into them. These are the habits that nurture your soul and support your journey.
So there you have it - the 3-part action sequence of the SSC formula to self-auditing.
To help you get into the swing of this self-auditing formula, here’s a guide I made specially for you in the ProjectYOU community. It walks you through the SSC sequence, includes activities and guiding questions to help you consider each part of the sequence, and tips on how you can get the most out of your self-auditing time.
As you take your own audit, be kind with yourself. Remember that this is not about critiquing every flaw; it is about embracing the journey with honesty and hope. It isn't about perfection; it is about making progress with grace. Trust that by stopping what holds you back, starting what inspires you, and continuing what fulfills you, you’re actively crafting a life that resonates with your deepest truths.
Here’s to creating space for meaningful change and to a life lived with deliberate, heartfelt action. Cheers to you harnessing your free will to stop, start, and continue. I’m excited for what lies ahead. See you in the next chapter.
Ihūnnaya na Ihe,
Tobe
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